Reason 8 – The Fight Scene on Top of the Semi

Well hello there my fellow readers. I hope I haven’t filled your live’s with a deep depressing sadness due to my lack of updates. But never fear, I have returned, and I’m ready to get neck deep in some shit.

Ah, the freeway scene. This is the peak of the action in Matrix Reloaded. Dodging cars, agents, bullets, and an all-on-all brawl where even the “bad guys” and agents get into a bit. But more importantly than all of that, the freeway scene also contains what I feel to be the single largest fuck up in the entire trilogy; the fight scene on top of the semi.

For those who have forgotten, let’s set up the plot. So the A-Team successfully gets the Keymaker, but the Frenchman finds out after getting his cock sucked and sends his crew to get his property back. Neo hangs around, kills all of the punks and ends up on the Rockies while Morpheus and Trinity babysit the Keymaker. One thing leads to another and they are forced to take the freeway to the closest exit. mmmkay, ya with me?

So it ends up being Morph-Morph and the Keymaker on top of a semi as Trinity peaces the fuck out. But oh no, an Agent!

Go get 'em, Morph-dawg!

Go get 'em, Morph-dawg!

So they battle, back and forth it goes for a few minutes, with the agent getting the upper hand for most of the fight.

God damn son your breath stank!

God damn son your breath stank!

All in all it’s a pretty good showdown and it isn’t until… but wait just a fucking minute. Hit the pause button. How many agents are there? Three. And one of them is fighting Morpheus on the top of a semi moving at at least 60 MPH. What the hell are the other two doing?

It is common knowledge that agents can turn into any person that hasn’t been freed. As Morpheus put it, “They can move in and out of any software still hard wired to their system.” I hope you can see where I’m going with this.

Why didn’t they turn into the driver of the semi and slam on the brakes? This would toss Morpheus and the Keymaker into traffic, inevitably killing them in the process, which is the goal here. Why didn’t they transfer their consciousness to the cars next to the semi and slam into it or pop some caps? Why is it that I am a more efficient thinker than these super advanced race of machines?

Instead of logic winning, Morhpeus ends up killing the agent just as the Keymaker is about to be erased. And just then, another agent shows up.

What a great idea, WTMS! Why didn't I think of that?

What a great idea, WTMS! Why didn't I think of that?

And who does he transfer himself to? Oh just the driver of the semi THAT MORPHEUS AND THE KEYMAKER ARE FUCKING STANDING ON and he doesn’t immediately hit the brakes. Instead, he actually speeds up! Then, the other agent decides to earn his CDL as well, pulls a u-turn and starts heading dead on towards the main semi.

I get it, I totally do. This is much sexier. Two semis going 80 MPH playing chicken. It’s way cooler. I know. But even so, it’s also just another reason why the Matrix sucks.

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2 Responses to Reason 8 – The Fight Scene on Top of the Semi

  1. Big Chuck says:

    You missed what was really wrong with this scene: Morpheus beating an agent.

    We already saw Smith slap the shit out of him, but we are supposed to believe he can beat one of these upgraded agents? Why, because he has a Samari sword? We know his sword will be slower than a bullet, as Morpheus can’t come close to dodging bullets. It’s just fucking stupid and lazy.

  2. WTMS says:

    Yeah, good point. The fact that he even stood a chance is bullshit in itself.

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