Reason 2 – When Trinity Says “Dodge This” to the Agent

All throughout The Matrix, the lesson to learn about the Agents was that they are fucking badass. They can dodge bullets baby! Not to mention jump across buildings and punch through walls and shit. They’re more dangerous than Russell Crowe. Basically, the point was, don’t fuck with them.

Well, there is a scene when Neo and Trinity jack themselves in to go save their big bald black boss. After they get their guns and reach the roof, an Agent shows up.

Oh No!  An Agent!

Oh No! An Agent!

It’s one of the insignificant one’s though so you knew something lame was about to happen. Well, Neo tries to deal by firing some bullets at him, but we already know they can dodge that shit like it ain’t no thang:

Agents Can Dodge Bullets Baby!

Agents Can Dodge Bullets Baby!

Let’s pause for a second. Neo fired 20 shots at the guy and he dodged every single one of them. The bullets would be traveling at around 1,100 feet per second. That’s 750 mph. They were all fired in about 8 seconds. So, without going into too crazy math calculations, this guy can move fast.

Once Neo is out of options, it’s the Agent’s turn who fires away. We then see Neo’s famous ‘bending over backwards dodging bullets but not fast enough so his quads and shoulders’ are scraped scene.

Neo's Famous Scene

Neo's Famous Scene

That was pretty badass. But now what? The Agent is slowly walking over to him, and he’s doomed. But not so fast, Trinity is here to save the day. But before I get into that, what the FUCK was this Agent thinking? No wonder he’s not the crew chief, he can’t even run the deep fryer.

The Agent makes a few crucial mistakes here. #1, He forgets about Trinity. He just slowly walks over the Neo and doesn’t even bother shooting her in the face first. Did he not have enough RAM to focus on both? #2, Why the hell does he do the over used movie cliche of talking instead of shooting? These guys are MACHINES, they are ROBOTS. Slowly walking towards your target and saying some famous “last words” is a human like quality. Why wouldn’t he just point the gun right in between both of their eyes and end it there? It’s nonsensical.

Well, after all of that poppycock, he walks up to Neo, points the gun and says “Only human.” Just as he is going to pull the trigger, Trinity puts her gun up to his head and says “Dodge this!”

Dodge This?

Dodge This?

Seriously? Dodge this? She has time to say DODGE THIS?! TWO SECONDS pass by from the time she places her gun on his head and eventually pulls the trigger. Something isn’t right here. Remember, this is the same guy that 30 seconds prior was able to avoid 20 projectiles shot within 8 seconds at 750 mph. Was his CPU fried? Blue screen of death? Still running Windows 95? Two seconds should be plenty of time for him to take the gun from her, shoot her titties off then cap Neo in the balls.

But alas, he locks up, and and ka-pow:

Dodge Your Mother

Dodge Your Mother

This Agent should be fired, or at least written up. In conclusion I have one word to describe this scene – Bullshit.

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26 Responses to Reason 2 – When Trinity Says “Dodge This” to the Agent

  1. Pingback: Reason 4 – Believe or Not You Piece of Shit You’re Still Gonna Burn « Why The Matrix Sucks

  2. Joan Hunter says:

    Dude, this analysis is spot on. Revolutions was on TV today and I donít know why I subjected myself to it. There are many more reasons why The Matrix sucks, and I hope you find them all. How about when Trinity discovers Neo has been blinded (he has smoking craters where his eyes used to be) and he says ďIím alright but I think youíre gonna have to drive.Ē WHAT? WHAT? WHATITTY WHAT THE FUCK!? Bleh! Itís such a circus of tragedyÖ

    Anyway itís healing to be able to laugh (and cry?) about it, so thanks!

    -Joan

  3. kster says:

    sure. it’s a movie. AND? why do you need to take the awesome out of it? it is good. i wont listen to you. it is cool, no matter what you say.

  4. admin says:

    I’m not removing the awesome from anything. I love the entire Matrix trilogy, I’ve seen them all numerous times. I’m just a sad, pathetic man who enjoys nit picking films.

  5. RaptorHunter says:

    One big reason why your site sucks, you failed to make a point on a failure, first of all, will start from the all Matrixit, the analmatrix, this movie should have ended when the Humans decide to nuke the machines, apart from all the primary effects of nuclear explosions, heat, radiation, and the shock wave (any of those alone would be enough to destroy the machines) they forgot about EMP (which the machines are quite vulnerable to as seen in the movies), there wouldn’t be much of a war or a movie. My other big point, is the law of conservation of energy, machines my dodge bullets but they can’t dodge the laws of physics, even with the most energy efficient system, and 0 loss of energy, the machines would be getting 0 energy, the system of towers could only support itself and not much else, since dead humans are used to feed living ones (even with cows). And what is wrong with the energy infrastructure left by the defeated Humans after the war?

  6. adminfan says:

    You are amazing.

  7. WTMS says:

    RaptorHunter, you lost me. But thanks for the uh, condemnation?

    adminfan, I know.

  8. Anonymous says:

    If the agent tried to dodge she would shoot immediately. But he was on the spot, and he knew it, so dodging was pointless.

  9. WTMS says:

    That is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. He can DODGE BULLETS. He should be able to move fast enough to shove the gun up her ass before she can even pull the trigger.

  10. Andy says:

    some actions that occur in anime, movies and comics do not spend time, sometimes are said, take a few seconds on screen, but in “movie time” was instantaneous.

  11. WTMS says:

    Sure, yeah I understand that. But that doesn’t apply here. The agent slowly walked over to Neo, put the gun up, said “Only Human,” then Trinity walked over, put a gun to his head, and said “Dodge This” before pulling the trigger. There is no way any of that was instantaneous.

  12. Bill says:

    I think it’s fine for the Agent to monologue. It’s clear from Agent Smith that the Agents have personalities, wants, etc. Just because they’re computer programs doesn’t mean they can’t get cocky and make mistakes. It’s like saying a human being has trillions of electrical synapses sending out signals at thousands of kilometres per second, yet people still get hit by cars.

  13. WTMS says:

    Fair enough., Bill.

  14. Jmal says:

    I’m watching the Matrix on TV and for shits and giggles was looking for sites discussing it. I find this article funny in the fact that it goes in depth on why the movie sucks because the agent didn’t dodge the final bullet or walked slowly (which is fine I agree)… but not into the bigger fact that throughout the series agents CAN’T DODGE PUNCHES. Trinity, Morpheus and Neo have always been able to punch agents around before they could dodge them. Once you can dodge bullets every fight against a human should be a one hit kill with the human never touching you.

    I will note they are not robots or machines in the way we conceive them today. The point of the Matrix was that they were Artificial Intelligences which means they could fall victim to the emotional mistakes of gloating, overconfidence and monologuing like any other sentient being.

    @RaptorHunter I’ve never seen the analmatrix, sounds like it may have been shitty tho, or at least a movie near the bottom.

  15. WTMS says:

    “analmatrix”

    “sounds like it may have been shitty”

    ha!

  16. Jeremy Barnes says:

    We engross ourselves in movies to escape reality for a little while, or at least I do. There are some movies that make you think and, then there are movies that are just pure mind candy.

  17. ty says:

    The problem with most of these comments is that they’re comparing humans to machines, however, when someone is jacked into the Matrix they are not human, they are a computer program. They can manipulate the program in nearly the same way an agent can. That’s the whole point of the film. I don’t even know how I got on this site, I haven’t watched the movie in years.

  18. jaime GRANDE says:

    This is a film. Perhaps one of 20 or 30 films that I have seen in my life that are nearly perfect from beginning to end. I saw it on the big screen the week that it opened in Marina del Rey, California in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. The theater was completely packed. I had to sit in the front row. At the end of the movie I was clinching the armrests and tears were streaming from my eyes. I wasn’t crying. It was a f****** roller coaster orgasmic delight of fantasy and story telling and science fiction. Truly the Warchowski brothers, or brother and sister now, are geniuses. Revolutions and Reloaded weren’t 1/10 the movie that the original Matrix was. You know what sucks? Lord of the Rings. Gag me. F****** Harry Potter. Gag me. All these other f****** superhero movies made from comic books. Spiderman? Really? Superman, Batman, Iron Man, they all are so tedious and boring and not believable. To be able to suspend disbelief for the first Matrix movie, it was magic. An opus of filmmaking. Mr. Narrator, this is Bob Dylan to me. The Matrix changed my life.

  19. WTMS says:

    @jaime GRANDE: You can say fuck, ya know.

  20. Brian says:

    I half agree with this post.

  21. WTMS says:

    I half agree that you even exist.

  22. J says:

    Favorite pet theory: the “electrical power” comment is deliberate misinformation spread by the machines. When the exposition happens, we get told that it is “along with a form of fusion” ó that’s the real energy source. Humans are about as efficient as anything else at turning things into heat, but A) they’re not *more* efficient, and B) heat is pretty much the worst form of energy to try to extract work from, due to the thermodynamics.

    But if it is a misdirection, then what are we not supposed to realize? What are humans actually *good* at?

    Brains.

    They’re being farmed as a giant, ridiculously interconnected neural network. As space heaters, humans would not need more than a brainstem to function, and certainly would not need an entire virtual reality. But if you need those brains to be *active*, then you have to both stimulate them and keep them from realizing what is going on. Otherwise you would get the effect the Agent described as “trying to ‘wake up'”.

    Why does this matter? Because it implies that the virtual reality is almost certainly running on that exact same “platform”; it would be the simplest approach, and one that would normally be self-reinforcing and extremely resilient against damage or loss of even large populations. But that means that how those brains perceive the world can directly *affect* that world.

    To put it a bit more simply: “genre conventions actually work ó precisely *because* they are genre conventions”. Trinity’s speech takes no time at all (notice that the Agent never moves until the camera shot shifts), because in that reality it really *does* take no time at all. More to the point, because everyone actually aware of that little bit of reality shares the same set of subconscious assumptions and they *stay* subconscious. Only Neo (eventually) gets to the point that he can convince his own conscious brain to apply the same trick.

  23. bajukaaa says:

    they are not machine or robots MR. Admin. More like a virus (a highly intelligent software and started to have human characters ). And You were explaining with that long ass article and missing the important part. LOL just LOL!

  24. WTMS says:

    Hey guy, don’t laugh at me.

  25. phuoc says:

    best movie review ive read so far, that big bold black boss made me laugh so hard rofl

  26. Anton says:

    Anyway who are you to say this? Matrix is a master piece.

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